What have i got myself into again?
Damn.
Its not my fault that you guys had some freakin beef jerky.
Please....i'm now here. Stuck. Because of all these.
If I'm gonna work this out, i'ma need help.
and If you're not givin me a hand,
DONT BLAME ME WHEN I ASKED FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S!
Tired of dealing y'all's bullshit.
Dont drag me into this.
What am i gonna do????
Go for it?
Or stay stuck?
I guess deep down,
there's an answer.
--There's always something!
The first car! :)
Yeah, i did it!!!!! Fucking did it! :D
The circle's gonna grow!
Really should talk about it with Seng.
Dont lock me down with 1.5 when i know for sure i can do more than that!
Win win, Should be fair to me.
Both gonn' earn profit, right?
Nego! Nego!!!!! :)
Good news will keep coming!
Law of Attraction, FTW!!!!!
Hell yeah! Now this, is LIFE.
Gosh....where the hell am i now?
Back to where it all again. Dont even have the strength to complain anymore. Exhausted like shit.
People will continue to take you for granted. Whom so fucking ever they are.
When i figure it out, i'm heading the exit of all misery.
There lies forever, my comfort zone.
Well, it feels kinda awkward when i heard from Chris that you asked about me this afternoon. The question is, why are you doing this to me? I tried calling you, texted you, whatsapp you. But after all these times, i got nothin' from you. Not any news, not any replies. Nothing. And yet after all that, you asked my friend about how am i doing. Why dont you just fucking reply me?
Seriously, this girl logic, to me, it doesnt make sense. Not any fucking sense. If this relationship, DOES NOT work out, its not MY fault. Because i've done everything i could have. You can be really TOLERATE and UNDERSTANDING if you WANT. But i felt like being fooled. I'm just an option to you, and to be frank, the LAST one. Funny eh? no. its fucking ironic.
Hey you know what, its not anybody's problem that your relationship doesnt work out. Its YOURS. Relationship its not about just you. Its a 2-person matter. If you cant commit, then please, dont start. Because someone will end up all hurt and heart broken. If you liked to be blamed, then thats other case. Well, i've brace myself for that, yea, for some 'good' reason. Though i dont even know that's right or wrong. But nobody cares, okay?
I'm tired trying to hold onto something on my own when its not just about me. Its more. I told everyone i could talk to, that i'd let you go. But why, that somehow, some-fucking-how, you remains a place. I tried bury you deep inside some where and walk away. But i returned, and found out that it's like a freakin seed, and now, its nurtured with my subconscious emotions and feelings that i buried together, and now, it has turn into a TREE.
Great. Chop it off?
Well, okay then.
Chainsaw anyone?
UGHHHH!
The 5%? I'm on it biatch!
I'm gonna let my subconscious to do it.
Its a promise.
I'm on it!
Wish me luck!
Its more tiring than you think.
Its not what i wanted, but its happening.
Stressed out. Worn out. Waiting for the black out.
Damn.
Is this what keep you away from me?
If so, then let it be.
Because i understand. More than anyone else.
I'm tiring of making my own decision.
Actually, decision making is not that tiring, what exhaust you the most, is how you're bearing all this all by your own.
You're always be reminded that there's no one outside you can cry out for.
That's why i'm treasuring all the helping hands and tries out there.
Was planning to have a full shift roadshow today. Though i totally forgot about it. But i cant take that much of shit all of a sudden.
Okay.
Time for exercise.
Refreshing maybe.
Alright.
Enough with the bitch.
Here's something about myself.
I've decided to post about my workout results. Will be uploading loads o' pictures.
And yeah, i'm glad the workouts pay off!!
Pic 1: From the front. Its not that obvious. But its OKAY.
Pic 2: From side left. Hmm, can see that i squeezed it hard to get the curve. I wonder why i trained equally but my right side just doesnt get the curve! =\
*they can have 25 percents of bf and looking good. i'm 3 percents away!!
Whoa. So sorry to heard the news, bitch! i'm so sorry for you. Please dont die. I'm too slow. Too damn slow. I gotta get more money. For you.
你呀，千万别那么快死。
你的命，是我的。
如果你今天就出事了，我会很难过。
真的很难过。
别死。
等我。呵呵
I'm starting to feel that this job is slowly changing me. I love how it feels.
Or should i say, my job is exploiting something deep inside myself unconsciously. There is something happening. I can feel it. Inside.
How thrilling!!
I totally understand the line: if you ought to gain something, you gotta lose something first. If the price of success, is my class of friends, level. i think it'll work. It will.
Its getting easier to weight things.
Which comes first and after.
I still have faith in you.
I'm no quitter.
Never.
I wanted a mentor, that guides me, points me in the right direction, and gives me a helping hand when i'm shitty.
And now i have him. Seng.
Not you, brother.
Whom is DYING to change me into something i'm not. Sorry but you dont know me, AT ALL. If you're into me, if you dont open yourself up to me, then everything you do or say, means NOTHING to me.
I dont stop when i'm tired,
I stop when i'm DONE.
The game has just started.
And i'm gonna enjoy it!
April fool.
I've been living a fool's life all this long.
Funny? Then have your laugh.
Irony.
No matter how hard or how long you struggle, people all around you saw your craziness,, but the two of the most important people in your life never see a single thing you did.
I tried to take it positively,, like:
They emphasize more than other people about your MISTAKE. Because they cared about you. Well my dad maybe. What about you, nic?
*sigh*
Never mind.
There are things i promised myself.
Nothing can bring me down now.
Nothing.
今天又是累垮的一天
我再强调一次，
我并不是反反复复。
我现在的情况已经不能允许做任何吃亏的决定。
他妈的！
要不，你们来试试看在事业刚起步的时候，突然每个月要供个1500给妹妹去读书！
这个也许就是为什么你们永远没有可能会有机会代替Chris在我心中的位置。
我不能就只是冲！
要是我只有一个人，跌得多伤我都承受得了！
现在不行！我不能输你们明白吗？！
这个大客，
对不起我要独吞了。
你们能像Chris那样懂我就好了...
现在的情况，除了妹妹，
我有个心上人，成功上岸有段时间了。
我不能再耗了。我不想让她等！
她目前的工作，说我自己难听点、没用点就是我的10倍。但是因为我感觉她做得不怎么开心，我想要凭我的直觉跟能力给她她想要的生活，还有一段距离。我现在要TM争取我剩下的时间，把这一切的拖延都补回来！我不要让她身边的朋友家人笑她！我要她跟我过的开开心心！
在她面前我还要保护你们
在爸爸面前我要保护她们
却忘记为自己找个可以保护我的人了。
不过算了不要紧。
还没遇到什么我跨不过去的难题。
虽然她到现在都还没有给我答案。
但是如果还没有尽力，就放弃，我会遗憾一辈子！
我宁愿后悔我做错的，我也不要后悔我没做到的！
Whatever that is worth HAVING,, its worth FIGHTING for.
Nicole我在这一篇里，要送你2样东西：
1我的真心
2我的时间
大哥二哥，谈成了我一定不会亏待你们！
这个sales我非得到不可！
对不起了！
我的天哪...被Seng连骂了3天。
才睡醒又中了...
唉办事不利吗??
昨天跟她小通了电话
问她视频竟然说没看过..?
反而是Kc在她的墙炸了些有的没有的
看来我真的带给她很多麻烦及不便
也让她很丢脸
说真的
我上传
就预计她会拒绝了吧?
呵...
虽然她没一字一句说出来
可是她的语气好像老是在告诉我
她不是一个好女人
靠
我由心地不介意，她不明白吗?
要用什么语言?
抱歉我只会华语英文马来文客家
要是只有说什么外星语她才明白的话
我现在就去学！
她啥「坏东西」都玩过?
她在「工作」的时候会跟别人搂搂抱抱什么的?
她有段「不为人知」的过去?
拜托,,我既然接受了她有酒吧的背景
就也已经预计了这一切啊!!
难道要我怎么着?
「就,,成绩要很好，要读过什么世界大学，开过酒吧可以、但是不沾烟不沾酒不玩糖果、不在同桌跟人装熟嘻嘻哈哈。」
是这样吗?
如果老是以这一些以「道德」条件找伴的话，说真的我不知道还要单身多久。
反而那些看上去良家妇女什么的外面背后干了什么你不知道..
我要找的是生活上的那个「伴」。
所以请搞清楚，而且如果我要的是一个「道德老师」的话我会去学校找。
她心里一定有着一个让她28岁还单身的理由
「她没人追?! 」别开玩笑了!! 我只是幸运在诚茶跟她一起工作罢了!! 要排队的话我都不知道自己排到哪儿啦!!! -.-
我倒觉得是「她很在意自己的背景」。
她好傻..如果不真正打开心门让人进来住，又怎么知道谁是短期租客或者长期住宿?
昨天她也有问：如果跟你在一起，然后又像你的ex酱跟别人走掉呢?
老实说：心里会纠啦..不过如果我给不了她快乐幸福,,我干嘛霸占着她? 那样很痛苦的..在一起是俩个人的事。如果一方没感觉了，累了，倦了，另一方再怎么爱也没用。再说，是真的爱的话，不是应该让她到更多幸福的地方去吗? :)
...完了..真的什么都完了..
我应该是爱上你了
翁彩琳,,给我个机会好吗?
Yes or no?
直接说就好了...不用给我理由。
=)
Dear fate...you just couldn't let me breathe right? Or i'm the one who's getting myself into this? Jump into blazing fire and try to stay alive.
Struggle and survive.
Like i always do.
I'm gonna pick these up.
All of them bit by bit.
Urgh..
我不怕挑战
不怕压力
只怕在我努力的当儿掉了你
现在发了疯似的赚钱
无可否认
你占了三份之一。
呵
加油！
希望计划能如愿以尝！
Sometimes i wonder, is it good for me to carry these burden all by myself?
I never wish or hope that they would THANK me. i just hope that they'll understand. And thats all i'm asking.
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
I always carry this thought with me.
And now i'm gonna prove it right!
Its time.
Yes, wind does HOWLED.
And i'm letting myself go with it.
For so far i didnt realize that you're in the way.
Great.
I said i'd stop blaming.
I'd QUIT blaming.
And so i will.
After all these times.
And here comes 'Decision 3'.
On you i'm letting go.
I'll fucking promise to every fucking one.
I WILL NOT FAIL THIS TIME.
This MARCH, is ALL i need.
Here i hope you'd understand.
I'm letting go is because
i wanna see you success.
i wanna see you grow.
i wanna prove to dad that you are just as good as he thought.
i wanna see you get what you deserve.
i wanna be proud of you.
and i love you.
All the way sis.
Life's ahead.
Challenges await.
