What flows within...

Well, it feels kinda awkward when i heard from Chris that you asked about me this afternoon. The question is, why are you doing this to me? I tried calling you, texted you, whatsapp you. But after all these times, i got nothin' from you. Not any news, not any replies. Nothing. And yet after all that, you asked my friend about how am i doing. Why dont you just fucking reply me?

Seriously, this girl logic, to me, it doesnt make sense. Not any fucking sense. If this relationship, DOES NOT work out, its not MY fault. Because i've done everything i could have. You can be really TOLERATE and UNDERSTANDING if you WANT. But i felt like being fooled. I'm just an option to you, and to be frank, the LAST one. Funny eh? no. its fucking ironic.

Hey you know what, its not anybody's problem that your relationship doesnt work out. Its YOURS. Relationship its not about just you. Its a 2-person matter. If you cant commit, then please, dont start. Because someone will end up all hurt and heart broken. If you liked to be blamed, then thats other case. Well, i've brace myself for that, yea, for some 'good' reason. Though i dont even know that's right or wrong. But nobody cares, okay?

I'm tired trying to hold onto something on my own when its not just about me. Its more. I told everyone i could talk to, that i'd let you go. But why, that somehow, some-fucking-how, you remains a place. I tried bury you deep inside some where and walk away. But i returned, and found out that it's like a freakin seed, and now, its nurtured with my subconscious emotions and feelings that i buried together, and now, it has turn into a TREE.

Great. Chop it off?
Well, okay then.
Chainsaw anyone?
UGHHHH!

The 5%? I'm on it biatch!
I'm gonna let my subconscious to do it.
Its a promise.
I'm on it!
Wish me luck!

Its more tiring than you think.
Its not what i wanted, but its happening.
Stressed out. Worn out. Waiting for the black out.
Damn.
Is this what keep you away from me?
If so, then let it be.
Because i understand. More than anyone else.
I'm tiring of making my own decision.
Actually, decision making is not that tiring, what exhaust you the most, is how you're bearing all this all by your own.
You're always be reminded that there's no one outside you can cry out for.
That's why i'm treasuring all the helping hands and tries out there.

Was planning to have a full shift roadshow today. Though i totally forgot about it. But i cant take that much of shit all of a sudden.

Okay.
Time for exercise.
Refreshing maybe.