What flows within...

为什么我们老是要这样？
为什么老是吵架？
你真的那么恨我吗？
爸，
很多东西，我不知道怎么了。
我倒楣，一直都是那样。
被人骗了一次又一次。
我知道我没有用，不能像妹妹那样。
我付出的努力
我相信除非我死，
不。
你连我死后都不会看见。
你要我怎么办？
你就继续误会我吧，
也许我都不在乎了。
我够了，累了。
我爱你，不过这一切
我只想结束。
反正我连赎罪的机会都没有了。
你们都一样吧。
呵

我现在的感觉是，
我宁可淹死，也不去抓你们伸出的援手。

妈，
对不起。
又是我。
我回不去了。
我以为他明白。
我高兴过一刹那
不过我不知道该怎么做了
没有人是值得我相信的
我爱的人，太遥远了
我只剩下妹妹，还有她
不过都算了，
都不重要了。

呵

If there's a cliff, i'd be glad to jump off of it now. Thank you for reminding me everything i've failed at. I dont know whom can i trust anymore.

我爱你们，就像亲哥哥一样。
不管你相信不，我爱你们。
对不起，又让你们失望了。
离别的那一刻，我只想抱住你们
跟你们说声对不起。

Fate brought us together. But i dont know what separated us. I hope we can be friends, brothers like we used to be. You guys will never know how badly i missed the old times when we watch football together, we played DOTA together, we go shop-to-shop together. I remember how you sat on my ass and scratched my head and wake me up. Then i'll chase you around the house. I remember how you smoked all my cigarettes and grined at me. We could swim, gym and skate together. I love you. Both of you.

Forgive me. Thats all i'm asking ad all i'm begging for. I'm good at ruin things. Good things. Tom, thank you. For teaching me everything all these while. West, thank you. Thank you for reminding me to breath when it attacks. Thank you for all the help and company. I'm just, dont deserve y'all.

You guys are better off without me.
I'm a burden. To anyone. Please, do remember that i love you. Wish you all the best in the future.

Its back. Like yeah. I'm struggling to change things. This is gonna affect a lot. I'm slowly forgetting stuffs. Right just now, i looked at my foot and i forgot how to tie my laces. Shaky hands. Nightmares. Migraine. Black out and these, i just dont know which is worse.

Dad, i'm sorry. i hope i'm able to come home that day. I cant promise i'll be back though i'm dying to. But i'd promise that i'll buy carnations. Lots of em. With a little card..filled with white lies. Like the usual years. yea.

Is it destined? or fated? Can you help? *scoffs* who knows right? Maybe its gonna end up like all those who left. Nothing's wrong with ordinary, like nothing's wrong with girls in short hair. Guess i'll just have to smile, live, and lie like nothing happened. Until the day arrives.


I WARNED YOU.