What flows within...

This is too overwhelming. It all happened when i scrolled through some tweets from piers morgan about gun issues, which i've been always been told how dangerous America can be due to this. And my dad basically showed me every single news on the paper about innocent people gettin shot and all that. Guns are suppose to be like an armor that we used to protect ourselves right? (Maybe i'll find that out myself.)

Scanning through lotta tweets and replies to with Piers Morgan, about this gun issue, i stumble across Jessi. 'She died in a shooting?' It has to be some really nice person that would get this much of a condolences. (Forgive my language, my english is very limited. Bear with me) Knowing she's a sports journalist is what fires up my interest then i started digging her info through the net. (and all those wasn't kind of the whole point)

What hit me the most is that, her last blog post about her narrow escape from another shooting earlier in Eaton Centre earlier last month. Her words were surprisingly simple to understand! The way she writes has brought words back to life. I read the post as if i was there, just finished grabbing sushis and wanted to continue to shop, but ended up witnessed a shooting first hand on a regular Saturday evening. Then when i came to the few last lines of the post, i can tell right on the spot that she is certainly one girl, that loves her life, and lives it to the fullest like nobody i've ever known in my life. I can feel her in her activities, her pictures, her posts, her tweets, her WORDS. I felt like i knew her for my life.

Then the moment came, when i was allowing myself in her pictures and all that, i was stunned again when i realized that, This amazing girl, is gone forever. God i swear it aches! My tears almost burst out. 'NO!' Even a stranger like me would feel the searing lost, i can never imagine how of all her close friends and family would feel. NEVER. Hatred grew in me that second, for God taking away someone that brightened up the world so much. Such cheer, such heart-warming, such joy, such LIFE. I'd agree with someone from twitter that said 'This world will not be any better without her.' Still drowning in the sorrow of losing one person so close, as a friend, as a family, this article came out. and yes. It reminded me. Of how life, and work are suppose to be going along together. Answered all the question that have been bugging me and gave me sleepless nights. 'You can't love your life without loving your job.' Because of this line, i quitted my job.

I agree and enjoy that life(to me), is a hustle. 'Its not what you say but what you do that defines you.' I've always been busy and going round and round. Eventually, winded up back at the first place, back where i began. Something is wrong. That is, i'm not living my life. Pursuing something/someone that's far within reach. All those were suppose to stay in my dreams. Not in my hand. At least, not now. There's steps and procedures. That is how life meant to be! We prone to forgot the simplest thing. Sometimes, it takes a mentor, friend, family member, lover, or occasionally, a stranger to remind us. I admit, that i've been rushing into things these years. Only when i looked back, i found out what scenes i've been missing all these times. Its time, to take a step back. Have a nice little break. Clear out my own mind. Meditate. It's not gonna work if i keep pushing myself that hard.

*exhales*
*smiles*

Jessi, this post is meant for you. Emily, Jay, Jordan and all who loved her with your heart, keep your head up, pull yourselves together! We're gonn' shine! This world may not be a better place without her, but we can try our best, even try our heart out to live our life like what Jessi did! I believe that's what she'd love to see, from above. And also, that is what Jessi inspired me! Jessi, may you bring your joy to us. Its not the fancy language that you used but the meaning that lies in between those lines that counts. In eternal memory, with love and all my heart, RIP #JessicaRedfield


#LoveLife!!!   ❤  :')