Body Transf

Alright.
Enough with the bitch.
Here's something about myself.
I've decided to post about my workout results. Will be uploading loads o' pictures.
And yeah, i'm glad the workouts pay off!!

Pic 1: From the front. Its not that obvious. But its OKAY.

Pic 2: From side left. Hmm, can see that i squeezed it hard to get the curve. I wonder why i trained equally but my right side just doesnt get the curve! =\

*they can have 25 percents of bf and looking good. i'm 3 percents away!!

Epic

Whoa. So sorry to heard the news, bitch! i'm so sorry for you. Please dont die. I'm too slow. Too damn slow. I gotta get more money. For you.
你呀,千万别那么快死。
你的命,是我的。
如果你今天就出事了,我会很难过。
真的很难过。
别死。

等我。呵呵



9 April 2012

I'm starting to feel that this job is slowly changing me. I love how it feels.

Or should i say, my job is exploiting something deep inside myself unconsciously. There is something happening. I can feel it. Inside.

How thrilling!!

I totally understand the line: if you ought to gain something, you gotta lose something first. If the price of success, is my class of friends, level. i think it'll work. It will.

Its getting easier to weight things.
Which comes first and after.
I still have faith in you.
I'm no quitter.
Never.

I wanted a mentor, that guides me, points me in the right direction, and gives me a helping hand when i'm shitty.

And now i have him. Seng.
Not you, brother.
Whom is DYING to change me into something i'm not. Sorry but you dont know me, AT ALL. If you're into me, if you dont open yourself up to me, then everything you do or say, means NOTHING to me.



I dont stop when i'm tired,
I stop when i'm DONE.

The game has just started.
And i'm gonna enjoy it!

1 April 2012

April fool.
I've been living a fool's life all this long.
Funny? Then have your laugh.
Irony.
No matter how hard or how long you struggle, people all around you saw your craziness,, but the two of the most important people in your life never see a single thing you did.

I tried to take it positively,, like:
They emphasize more than other people about your MISTAKE. Because they cared about you. Well my dad maybe. What about you, nic?

*sigh*
Never mind.
There are things i promised myself.
Nothing can bring me down now.
Nothing.

给哥哥的话

今天又是累垮的一天
我再强调一次,
我并不是反反复复。
我现在的情况已经不能允许做任何吃亏的决定。
他妈的!
要不,你们来试试看在事业刚起步的时候,突然每个月要供个1500给妹妹去读书!
这个也许就是为什么你们永远没有可能会有机会代替Chris在我心中的位置。
我不能就只是冲!
要是我只有一个人,跌得多伤我都承受得了!
现在不行!我不能输你们明白吗?!

这个大客,
对不起我要独吞了。
你们能像Chris那样懂我就好了...
现在的情况,除了妹妹,
我有个心上人,成功上岸有段时间了。
我不能再耗了。我不想让她等!
她目前的工作,说我自己难听点、没用点就是我的10倍。但是因为我感觉她做得不怎么开心,我想要凭我的直觉跟能力给她她想要的生活,还有一段距离。我现在要TM争取我剩下的时间,把这一切的拖延都补回来!我不要让她身边的朋友家人笑她!我要她跟我过的开开心心!

在她面前我还要保护你们
在爸爸面前我要保护她们
却忘记为自己找个可以保护我的人了。
不过算了不要紧。
还没遇到什么我跨不过去的难题。

虽然她到现在都还没有给我答案。
但是如果还没有尽力,就放弃,我会遗憾一辈子!
我宁愿后悔我做错的,我也不要后悔我没做到的!
Whatever that is worth HAVING,, its worth FIGHTING for.

Nicole我在这一篇里,要送你2样东西:
1我的真心
2我的时间


大哥二哥,谈成了我一定不会亏待你们!
这个sales我非得到不可!
对不起了!

28 March 2012

我的天哪...被Seng连骂了3天。
才睡醒又中了...
唉办事不利吗??

昨天跟她小通了电话
问她视频竟然说没看过..?
反而是Kc在她的墙炸了些有的没有的
看来我真的带给她很多麻烦及不便
也让她很丢脸

说真的
我上传
就预计她会拒绝了吧?
呵...

虽然她没一字一句说出来
可是她的语气好像老是在告诉我
她不是一个好女人
靠
我由心地不介意,她不明白吗?
要用什么语言?
抱歉我只会华语英文马来文客家
要是只有说什么外星语她才明白的话
我现在就去学!

她啥「坏东西」都玩过?
她在「工作」的时候会跟别人搂搂抱抱什么的?
她有段「不为人知」的过去?

拜托,,我既然接受了她有酒吧的背景
就也已经预计了这一切啊!!
难道要我怎么着?

「就,,成绩要很好,要读过什么世界大学,开过酒吧可以、但是不沾烟不沾酒不玩糖果、不在同桌跟人装熟嘻嘻哈哈。」

是这样吗?
如果老是以这一些以「道德」条件找伴的话,说真的我不知道还要单身多久。
反而那些看上去良家妇女什么的外面背后干了什么你不知道..
我要找的是生活上的那个「伴」。
所以请搞清楚,而且如果我要的是一个「道德老师」的话我会去学校找。

她心里一定有着一个让她28岁还单身的理由
「她没人追?! 」别开玩笑了!! 我只是幸运在诚茶跟她一起工作罢了!! 要排队的话我都不知道自己排到哪儿啦!!! -.-
我倒觉得是「她很在意自己的背景」。
她好傻..如果不真正打开心门让人进来住,又怎么知道谁是短期租客或者长期住宿?

昨天她也有问:如果跟你在一起,然后又像你的ex酱跟别人走掉呢?
老实说:心里会纠啦..不过如果我给不了她快乐幸福,,我干嘛霸占着她? 那样很痛苦的..在一起是俩个人的事。如果一方没感觉了,累了,倦了,另一方再怎么爱也没用。再说,是真的爱的话,不是应该让她到更多幸福的地方去吗? :)


...完了..真的什么都完了..
我应该是爱上你了



翁彩琳,,给我个机会好吗?
Yes or no?

直接说就好了...不用给我理由。
=)





Stressed

Dear fate...you just couldn't let me breathe right? Or i'm the one who's getting myself into this? Jump into blazing fire and try to stay alive.

Struggle and survive.
Like i always do.

I'm gonna pick these up.
All of them bit by bit.
Urgh..


我不怕挑战
不怕压力
只怕在我努力的当儿掉了你
现在发了疯似的赚钱

无可否认
你占了三份之一。


呵
加油!
希望计划能如愿以尝!



25 March 2012

Sometimes i wonder, is it good for me to carry these burden all by myself?

I never wish or hope that they would THANK me. i just hope that they'll understand. And thats all i'm asking.

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

I always carry this thought with me.

And now i'm gonna prove it right!

Decision 3

Its time.
Yes, wind does HOWLED.
And i'm letting myself go with it.

For so far i didnt realize that you're in the way.

Great.

I said i'd stop blaming.
I'd QUIT blaming.
And so i will.

After all these times.
And here comes 'Decision 3'.

On you i'm letting go.

I'll fucking promise to every fucking one.

I WILL NOT FAIL THIS TIME.

This MARCH, is ALL i need.



Here i hope you'd understand.
I'm letting go is because

i wanna see you success.
i wanna see you grow.
i wanna prove to dad that you are just as good as he thought.
i wanna see you get what you deserve.
i wanna be proud of you.
and i love you.



All the way sis.
Life's ahead.
Challenges await.





Its you again

我又因为你生气了

你怎么可以那样?

现在是什么情况?

我好像完全不在状况内

你在想什么我不知道。

有时觉得你内心在想什么瞒不过我

但这种情况,

I CANT TELL!!!

有时再想,如果可以

我要忍痛

跟你断绝。

想到这里

心就纠得...

好。

呵呵

好。

就这个月。

要么

不做



我一不做

二不休!

幹!!!!!






the OTHER side

Its getting worse. i dont know whether i'm doing it right. Should i keep caging it? or just unleash? I'd turn into a monster i know. and THAT's where the LONELINESS begin. I ask myself somehow: is this really what i wanted? the halo kept me hesitated. i've been carrying this all my time. is my life any easier? No. Pathetic no. there's a todo list of my halo. and i'll make your car last. I wanna walk with the evil. because i've been pushed too far. WAY to far. There's no fighting back with this fucking halo. I'ma destroy everything that gets into the way. MY way.

Scared?

Then start running.




泳远

现在的感觉,
让我想起超过10年前的泳术班。
还记得第一次
教练带着我游到9尺深
稍微教了我姿势
就自己游走了。
留下因害怕而扶着池边的我

对。
就是这个感觉。

突入而来的无助、恐惧。
但是,当时的我,

成功游到对面了。

你现在
像在一边看着我
观察着我是否有能力、及克服

那你给我一个月的时间。
这条河,
我一定过得去!

只要你答应
会在对岸
等我





6 February 2012 - The DAY

How do i describe it when i sleep on the couch?
Erh....
I love how it feels when i returned home after one day of work, lying on the couch
Is either random guitar plucking, listen to songs, play with all my 契仔契女, read articles
or just simply doing nothing
Couch is something that meant a lot to me in a house.
Maybe its because i've spent one year on it.
Every family member in my house moved out and surprisingly DID NOT leave a single mattress for me.
Great, right?
I started sleeping there.
I could STARE (seriously, i STARE) at my mom's photo until i fall asleep.
I could talk to my mom, though i know she'll never be hearing anything i say.
But i just did.
Then i sprained my waist and my back so bad that i cant even stand straight or bend over.
So there i was, STILL sleeping on the couch but in siting position.
How long did that last?
Let me think....
Almost 4 weeks.
One year later, sleeping on the couch has become some odd habit of mine that most of my friends would pick on me for.
Haha..
To me, a house without a couch,
Is NOT complete.
So guys,
QUIT asking me to come into the room and sleep.


Here,
Its different.
Problems unsolved trapped in my head
Haunting past
I stopped taking for a while
So i end up sleepless almost every night.

So i choose to laze on the couch
trying to catch some sleep
but then
FAILED. (its like EPIC FAIL)
For these months,
I would lie on the couch,
and stare into the air.
and wait for the drowsiness to strike
and feels like the whole world starting to fade away
Noisiness, laughter.
Nothing.

And now,
Two of the best brothers that mean a lot to me,
has gone.
to someplace else, SOON.
I'm reluctant to that.
But what to do?
I gotta move on!
West,
We've got lotta goals to score!
At least we can still fight together, right?
I'm honored to know both of you.
Despise what the fuck ever they talked about you.
Just, dont let me down.
Like i dont let you down.

*sighs*

somehow
i've found out that thinking of you would warm my heart.
you're like a mild heat
deep inside the core
slowly giving out
that bring me warmth and a SLIGHT reason for me to smile or even laugh.
: ) like what i'm doing now.
Somehow i thank everything, for knowing you.

Well,
Maybe we both DONT need any crystal relationship
Because deep inside,
We both know
How special we mean to each other.
And i guess THAT, is enough for you.
God, i love your smile..hah
I wonder if you can hear how badly my heart pounds every time you come close, sitting right beside me
I wonder if you feel the same towards me..
Started missing you already!


*hearts*

yikes...guess i'll be alone this Valentine's day... =/

BYE

站在河邊的我
注意了你很久
一开始觉得你真的不讨人喜欢
可是过后
发现你也讨厌得可爱
也开始越来越无法自拔
所以
伸手到水裡
逗着你

突然很想将你带回家
放了個小網
隨意地看看你會不會上鉤
從來沒有想過要認真地、必要地擁有你
順其自然。

过了那么久,
当我都要开始放弃,离开河边,
你这只鳖呀..
才一头闯进那个网子里

我很开心真的很开心 =')
可是
把你抓在手心才发现你一点也不开心
我也只好把你放回河里..然后离开
至少从今以后
都不再干扰你
让你小鹿乱撞
让你心烦

再见了,我的鳖.. :')
你一定要幸福!

27 January

这个新年,过得比自己想象的,更有意义。
真的很欣慰自己能找到一个像他那样的朋友。
虽然之前..有点误会,
但
今天看你们好好的,
又听west说了,
觉得误会..应该都过去了吧?
最后算将功补过?
说真的,已经是第几次发生这样的事情了?
真的要好好反省,改过这种容易对人好的习惯了。
我只是
交颗心出来当朋友而已。
就那么简单。

希望都过去了。

不然就赶羚羊的给我找个女朋友吧?!!!!??!?!?!!!!
她距离我太远了......考虑放弃中... ='(



这个新年,
对自己许下了承诺,
25号起的5年内,
不看医生!
*拿药,还有scan除外... :p
交待完东西后,
有种很放松,
很安心的感觉
比较能睡了 *安慰*

今天,赌懒到有种程度!
呵
反正都是我的错。
命运吧?
让我莫名其妙滥用了你的信任等等的如此如此这般这般。
真是的。
知道我老是滥用你又老是信任我..? -.-




哎,等下还有一堆垃圾要忙!!!!!!
能睡多久就睡多久吧..
也有点睡意了

Zzzz 安!